getting over it

there’s this indie/alt song I’ve been listening to all summer called “Off My Mind,” by joe p. I think it’s the most beautiful song ever written and recorded. In my mind (haha, the irony), it seems to be the soundtrack to all of my favorite summer memories, the moments I hold dearest to my heart.

but it’s also the song I listen to when I’m stressed out, the song I listen to when I can’t think straight and am really going through it. It’s the song that’s with me through it all, and that means more to me than any summer memory montage.

I love this song so much. I don’t think I can put into words how much I love it, and I definitely can’t explain it, so my best advice is to go play it on spotify while you’re reading this.

now let’s get into it. the song starts off with trying to convince someone that you’re fine, even when you aren’t in reality. we then hear the namesake of the song, “but now you’re off my mind.”

we then get into how you’re moving on, you found someone new, and you replaced whoever broke your heart. but it becomes pretty clear that you’re in denial, you aren’t actually over this person, and it still hurts more than you want to put into words. so you’ll keep denying, ever the liar, with the words “off my mind.” and even though you might be moving on, they still aren’t off your mind.

honestly, I couldn’t tell you if this is the correct interpretation of the song. I could be completely misreading this, and it could be all wrong. but this is simply what I got from my endless listening, so I’m just going to roll with it.

life throws a ridiculous amount of curveballs at you. for a lot of people, depending on your stage in life, this is love, or the illusion of love, or a relationship. but i’m a 16 year old over-achieving high school student, so i don’t really have time for all that. still, this doesn’t mean that i don’t have things i need to get over.

we’re all just trying to get over something, in my opinion. maybe we try to spin things into a positive light to make ourselves feel better or seem more put-together than we actually are, but we’re all moving on. moving on from a job, or a relationship, or friendship. maybe we’re moving on from a different stage in life, from a place we lived, from a person we knew. and whatever we do next, it’s defined by what we just left behind. that’s kind of the definition of life. nothing is without impact.

i used to hate the feeling of needing to “move on,” even though i’d seldom felt it. it was truly just the idea of moving on fed to me from popular media, which is accurate in ways but inaccurate in others.

i thought moving on was an experience that felt like your heart was breaking. like in a romance novel, when the main character physically can’t bear the pain of not being with their true love. when every day feels like a battle.

and I’m sure that’s a real experience for many people. but for me, as someone who’s never been in love, I haven’t felt that. I’ve felt moving on as something positive, as getting away from something that kept me tethered. as moving on to a new chapter of my life, a better chapter, where I can be the person I want to be with no restraints. a few times, it’s been moving on from a friendship that I knew wasn’t good for me. and every time i’ve moved on, there’s been that bittersweet moment when you realize something has changed and you miss the tiniest detail from the past. there’s pain in that, but there’s so much good in there.

so, yeah. I guess that’s all I have to say. just step back and take a look at all of it, from the grand scheme of things. sometimes the things we view as negative in most situations have their pros. I think it’s beautiful to finally see the good in something most see as bad.

sometimes we need to deny it to get over it eventually. I accept that, and I know I’ll have to do that in the future. with more time comes more experiences, and that’s okay. the song so eloquently conveys emotions with nuance, and I think that’s why I’m so attached to it.

in the meantime, i’ll be getting over it, while blasting “Off My Mind” in the car with the windows down. I encourage you to do the same.